Stuff About Cars

Or at least that is what I tell my daughters, my wife and a lady colleague. I don’t necessarily believe it, but it’s one of those things one says to tease, with tongue firmly in cheek. The mild outrage it sometimes provokes is gratifying, and usually harmless.

Yesterday I encountered what was either a disproof of the theory of female parking deficiency syndrome, or an exception that proves it as a rule.

I finally felt compelled to pop into town to pay the late credit card bills over which I had been procrastinating since the beginning of the month. I pulled into the car park and paused to look for a space. I spotted one - it was a bit tight, but just about doable, so I made for it. Just as I approached, a red Nissan hatchback shot past me, and reversed smartly into the space. The driver emerged, smiled, and locked up her car before vanishing into the shopping precinct.

To add insult to injury, when I finally found a free space, another tight one, it took me three attempts before I got in neatly.

Bugger.

I could be wrong, but late autumn and winter seem like stupid times to repair the roads - at least to the low standard of many of the repairs I see.

It seems that they come along and shove heaps of tarmac into the potholes then stomp it down flat. Maybe it’s more technical than that, but I don’t see it. Anyway, the way it’s usually done, you can bet that it’ll pour with rain the next day. The water seeps down under the fresh tarmac and the next day a hard frost freezes it, thus lifting and cracking the tarmac. It’s crap, and needs redoing withing weeks.

On the other hand, more rarely, I see repairs where a much smoother kind of tarmac is used, and these repairs seem to have neat edges that have been (apparently) melted into place. Water can clearly not get in underneath, and the whole job lasts a lot longer.

If they’re going to do it the cheap way, why do it in winter when the shortcomings of their shoddy job get exposed so soon? Madness.

…If I wasn’t so lazy, that is.

I shoved the car through a car was yesterday. I had to, the dirt was so thick that all the extra weight was costing me a fortune in fuel…

Why do I do it? Every time I have the same list of gripes. It’s bloody expensive, it bends my radio aerial if I forget to put it down beforehand and, most annoying, it doesn’t clean the back of my car properly. The car is a small, Japanese 4×4 with the spare wheel mounted on the rear tailgate. These car wash thingies, for some reason, cannot get their electronic brains around the contours of a vehicle with a rear mounted spare. All goes ok until the wash brushes get to the top of the spare tyre, then the machine loses it altogether. When I get it outside and take a look, most of the back of the car, including the number plate, hasn’t been washed, and is still covered in crap.
The most annoying thing is that other 4×4 owners know the signs of someone who can’t be bothered to clean his own car by hand. Oh, the humiliation of it. Yes, I know I could clean it myself, but that just ain’t gonna happen… at least not more than a couple of times a year.

A while back that stupid little engine light came on in my car. Anyway, as I reported here, I asked my friendly local mechanic about it and he said “If it’s running ok then don’t panic”. So I didn’t. A week or so later he took the car into the workshop and put some kind of cleaning stuff through the catalytic convertor. All fine, the light went out and I was happy.

Well, now the damned thing has come on again. I haven’t spoken to Andrew yet. I’m hoping he’s going to say that everything’s alright again, but I think I recall him saying that, if it came back on, a more substantial solution to the issue might have to be found.

Oddly enough, I’m not actually complaining about the car. It’s been great for 80,000 miles, and never let me down despite being driven across bumpy, snow-covered fields and up Irish mountains. But it is reaching that stage where things become worn, and it’s getting to feel like as soon as one worn out bearing, or whatever, gets replaced, something else starts to creak.

If I had any money I’d buy a new car. But I can’t afford Guinness AND a new car, so the choice is clear. Looks like I’ll be walking soon…

I read an online article last weekend (which I now cannot find) which highlighted some possible health issues that may affect those who drive for long distances or for long periods of time. I’m really annoyed that I didn’t bookmark it, because I wanted to write about it here.

Never mind, I’ll cover it briefly from memory as well as I can.

Apparently driving can be pretty bad for you.

• The lack of exercise means it can contribute to obesity and possibly heart disease.
• Extended immobility in sitting position can increase the likelihood of blood clots. It can also cause or aggravate back problems
• Driving can be stressful and can aggravate stress related conditions and raise blood pressure
• There is a significant risk of accident and injury

There was more, but these I clearly recall being listed.

No wonder people love their cars so much…

Anyone here suffered any ill effects they blame on driving?

I was quite pleased to see that legislation has been introduced that will shift the cost burden of scrapping cars from the driver to the car makers.

This story (click to read) tells how scrapping a car properly can cost the owner up to £50. A new scheme means that the car manufacturers will now foot the bill.

The idea is that if owners don’t have to pay to scrap their vehicles, then fewer cars should get abandoned in cities, towns and rural areas. If cars should are scrapped properly, there is an opportunity for a large percentage of the component material to be recycled.

I hope it works. The idea seems sound to me.

Oddly, perhaps, for a bloke who writes a blog about cars, I have no real clue how the blasted things work. Oh, I can do the basic things like filling the tank with petrol, filling the screenwash bottle, changing a wheel, opening the bonnet and scratching my head…

At the moment my car is doing that thing that I so often hear cars doing - usually just as they start or pull away - namely emitting a kind of screech or squeal. Instinct suggests it is a clutch or brakes thing. In the case of my car, turning off the engine and restarting gets rid of it, and usually it will go off shortly after I pull away, anyhow.

Bloody annoying though - and even more annoying if it turns out to be something disastrously expensive that needs urgent attention.

Does anyone have an idea what it might be?

Yep, here’s wishing you a great 2007.

Mine nearly got off to a dramatic start. I came out of the house on the morning of New Year’s Eve to find a hefty tree branch lying on the ground about a metre away from my car.

Actually, I must be an idiot to park where I do. In spring and summer the birds help themselves to the all the local berries, and then deposit their multi-coloured droppings all over the car. In blustery autumn and winter the wind either covers the car in dead leaves or, as I recently saw, has a good try at hurling more substantial bits of tree in its direction.