Stuff About Cars

Could be a bloody expensive call now, innit? £60 plus three points on your license.
Don’t take that as disapproval. I think it’s fine to impose stiff penalties on anything that is likely to distract the driver from concentrating on the road. I’m looking forward to similar fines being introduced for:

• Having those stupidly loud booming stereo systems (can’t hear horns and sirens)
• Posing in sunglasses after dark (can’t see a damned thing)
• Hanging stupid CDs, dice, Barney the flippin’ dinosaur or whatever  from the rear view mirror
• Badly behaved, gobby children fighting in the back of the car
• Fag hanging from mouth (burned genitals due to dropped cigarette can be very distracting)
• Stupid decorative script number plates (distracts the driver behind as he tries to work out what the hell your registration is)

Equally, while we’re punishing people for using their phones in cars, how about banning the confounded things from a few more places. I’d like to see fines for mobile phone use:

• In pubs and restaurants
• In cinemas and theatres
• In conference and seminar sessions that cost an arm and a leg, and from which you want to get your money’s worth without being put off by the ‘amusing’ ringtone of the git who forgot to switch off his phone
• At funerals
• In schools
• In church (unless phoning god)
• And, until people learn how to have a conversation without stopping dead in their tracks, on busy pavements.

Not that I’m moaning or owt…

Recently I’ve got into the bizarre habit of building my own stuff. As a keen, but entirely incompetent, amateur musician I’ve made a couple of penny whistles out of plastic conduit tubing, and a mandolin out of a kit of selected tonewoods and parts that my marvellous wife got me for Christmas. A discussion with a friend who is a keen kite-flyer (with all the fancy stunt stuff going on) has me thinking about knocking up a home-made kite or two as well.

But if I had a bit more money, any mechanical ability at all, and a garage to do it in, what I would really love to have a go at would be one of these sports car kits from www.gtmcars.com. (Click the little pic for a better view…)

I think that looks great. And imagine when people ask where you got the cool car…

“Oh this? Ah, it’s just a little something I put together in the garage…”

I want one. My birthday is in May, and I did a pretty good job on the mandolin that Mrs RoadWhinge got me for Christmas… What do you think are the chances?

There seems to have been a subtle change in the landscape where I live. The police - or someone - are evidently becoming much quicker at removing abandoned and burnt-out cars from the country lanes.

Where before the oxidised shells of stolen, abandoned and torched, vehicles would litter lay-bys and field entrances for days, now it seems that the wrecks are whisked away before anyone actually sees them. The only (unmistakable) sign of what occurred is a roughly car-shaped and sized patch of scorched earth or melted tarmac.

These burn marks appear literally overnight, but without any evident associated car wreckage. The superstitious yokels are becoming uneasy at this unaccustomed efficiency on the part of whatever clean-up agency is at work.

There are even rumours of witchcraft or aliens…

Here’s an interesting short article. It’s about cars in songs, and it’s one of those things that gets you thinking in terms of lists of your favourite stuff.

Even though this article was written by a bloke from a personalised number plates magazine, it’s not bad and I found myself nodding as I read through the list of tunes.

The article is at http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/autos/the-car-rock-and-roll-inspiration.html, and it’s available to use on other websites for free, but I decided not to reprint it here as I’m trying to keep my posts a bit briefer these days!

Does anyone have suggestions of their own that could be added to the list of songs about, or involving, cars and motorbikes?

Every pub has its characters, and most probably have at least one grumpy old man. Ours is a chap who can only be adequately (and accurately) described as an old git.

I won’t name him, as some people who know him read this blog, but he is a menace. He comes in three nights a week and has two glasses of red wine. As the landlord pours the wine, this fellow blatantly crouches at the bar, peering over his glasses to make sure that the level of his drink reaches the line on the glass. Nothing discreet about it… it is actually very rude.

Most annoyingly, part of his ritual upon arrival is to check the expiry dates on the tax discs on the cars in the car park. He then gleefully assails any unfortunate person whose disc has expired, and gives a very, very annoying countdown to those for whom renewal is imminent.

One of these days I’m gonna…

I know 4×4’s get some bad press these days, and justifiably so in many cases, but some of these vehicles don’t deserve criticism - they deserve a medal!

I wouldn’t be without my cheap little Japanese 4×4. I drive it with a clear conscience because it has a very small engine (about 1300cc), and it is driven mostly out in the countryside - not for urban posing. Anyway, who in their right mind would pose in a Suzuki Jimny?

The snow yesterday was a nuisance. Our village is always one of the first to get cut off, and this year the roads were treacherous as always. Trying to get up the hill that I have to tackle to get into town was a bit dodgy, and a number of cars in front of me gave up and turned round. With all four wheels driving, and taking it slowly, I managed to get up there.

A little later, as I got near the office, I had to drop a colleague at a house on a street where the snow lay deep, almost undisturbed, and very slippery indeed. As I progressed (again, very slowly) I saw a car up ahead hit a particularly slidey patch. The rear slid round and gently struck one of the cars parked along the kerb. Once again, having power to all four wheels allowed me to go over the same patch without mishap, while the other chap was still checking to see if he’s damaged the car he’d hit.

The big 4×4s might be a menace, but these little ones save so much bother.

In a comment on the previous post, a visitor asked if I was one of those people to whom one of today’s media reports refers. The topic in question is that of road rage, and it has indeed been in the news today.

Below is a press release from Green Flag, who have conducted a survey.

* * * * *

2 February 2007

A third admit being affected by road rage once a week or more often

Most drivers admit driving while angry or stressed at other road users, reveals a survey by Brake and breakdown specialist, Green Flag.

The survey of more than 1,000 drivers also shows that a startlingly high number drive while dangerously distracted by stress and anger at least once a week – almost a third.

Key findings of the survey:
Eight in ten drivers (78%) drive while angry or stressed about other road users, with one in three (31%) doing so once a week or more often
More than six in ten drivers (63%) drive while feeling angry or stressed at something unrelated to driving
Three-quarters of drivers (74%) drive while thinking about something other than work such as personal issues
More than nine in ten (95%) drivers agree that it is important to keep calm and focused while driving for safety reasons

Driving while stressed or angry can be extremely distracting and affect the way you drive. Research has shown that angry drivers are more likely to take risks such as speeding, rapidly switching lanes, tailgating and jumping red lights. Driving in this way increases your chance of being involved in a crash.(1)

Stress is a constant theme in our lives. It the second biggest cause of time off work, and is estimated to cost the country £13bn a year.(2) Research has shown that around 12 million adults see their GP with mental health problems each year and many of these are stress-related.(3)

Most drivers realise the dangers of driving while angry or stressed, and yet the vast majority still drive while distracted by stress or anger at other road users or something unrelated to driving.

Driving requires your full attention, and Brake advises all drivers who are feeling particularly angry or stressed to pull over at a safe place and allow time to calm down. You should only begin driving again once you are able to give your full attention to the road. You should take regular breaks at least every two hours to help concentration and should never jump into a car after an argument or if your mind is elsewhere.

Brake is calling on the Government to take urgent action to stop the daily carnage on our roads by introducing year-round, high-profile advertising campaigns to warn the public about the dangers of road rage and give advice on how to be a safer driver.

Case study:
Tara Bradshaw, aged seven weeks
Seven-week-old Tara Bradshaw died when the car she and her parents were in was forced into the path of an oncoming van. David Waterman, 24, of Harlow, Essex, lost his temper and drove his Vauxhall Cavalier into the car Tara Bradshaw was in, forcing it into the oncoming lane, Chelmsford Crown Court heard. Waterman was found guilty of causing death by dangerous driving and sentenced to tenyears in prison.
BBC News Online, 15 April 2005

Jools Townsend, head of education at Brake, says: “Driving is the most dangerous activity most of us do on a daily basis, and requires complete concentration. The demands of modern life often leads to stress and frustrations - and research shows that many of us succumb to stress on a regular basis. Driving while distracted by worries or frustrations can lead to fatal errors, or even dangerous, aggressive driving of the kind that killed Tara Bradshaw. We need to see drivers taking responsibility for their own safety and that of others, and not allowing themselves to drive if they’re not fully calm and focused. We also urge the Government to address this issue by introducing advertising campaigns warning drivers of the dangers they face, and giving advice on how to deal with anger and stress on the road.”

Nigel Charlesworth, spokesperson for Green Flag, commented: “It is worrying that so many people admit to driving while feeling stressed putting themselves and others at risk. Motorists should remain calm when driving to ensure they are concentrating fully on the road and if very stressed, should think twice about getting behind the wheel.”

I mean it. More tempers fray at those spots where two lanes of traffic filter into one lane than anywhere else on the face of the planet.

There is a place in Dunstable on the A505 where two lanes filter into one as one heads into the town centre past Wickes and Sainsbury’s. I endure this dreadful spot every day on my way to the office, and have seen untold mayhem, carnage and screaming grotesque death caused by the filter there.

Ok, the screaming death bit was a slight exaggeration, but it really does bring out the worst in some people - including me.

The principle that one needs to observe in order for traffic lane filtering to work smoothly and without violence couldn’t be simpler: each car in lane 1 allows one car from lane 2 to filter in front of him. They alternate: one car from lane 1 goes through then one car from lane 2, then another from lane 1 and then another from lane 2 etc etc etc.

How much simpler does it need to be?

But one of two things will always happen:

1) Driver in lane 1 drives right up the arse of the car in front of him leaving about 1cm space between them. He’ll be damned if he’s letting anyone in front of him. This knobhead makes enemies of the driver of the car in front (to whom he is driving too close), and of the driver in the car beside him, who just wants to be allowed to take his place in the flow of traffic.

2) The alternative scenario is that a driver in lane 2 has seen the car in front of him successfully move over in front of a considerate lane 1 driver who is allowing him to filter. Ah ha! he thinks. I’ll have some of that… and he promptly tries to barge across in front of that same considerate car instead of waiting his turn and filtering in behind it.

These rude and obnoxious people make me *so* mad. I make it policy not to chicken out. I WILL filter as is my right according to the rules I set out above. If I am in lane 1 then I will let one car filter across in front of me. If I am in lane 2 I will filter across in front of the first car that doesn’t already have a lane 2 vehicle filtering in front of it.

I will give no quarter and take no prisoners. Anyone stubborn enough to push it and call my bluff will get a dented car.

You have been warned. That is all.

Grrrr…